A friend wrote me about his personal circumstances, which he's given me permission to share.
Basically, my friend is married with two young kids and finds himself stuck in a "loveless" marriage, but they're trying to make the marriage work for the sake of their children. He also senses his children are being affected by his unhappiness. My friend is also very concerned about the world financial situation as it is, and feels he needs to stay and support his family instead of following his heart. He wants to know if I can give him any advice from a spiritual perspective.
I told my friend that I will post what comes to me on my blog, which I can share with others who may find it helpful.
I can understand what you're going through as I'm sure there are many people who find themselves in that situation. I can't tell you what to do; I can only give you a different view which you may or may not find helpful. I believe Love is the answer to all your "problems."
We are all made of Love. Love is our true self. When you are being your true self you are loving who you are, loving life, allowing others to be who they are, and letting Love be your constant guide.
When you love yourself, you are being true to who you are and how you are feeling. When you are loving yourself, you will never sacrifice your integrity for anyone.
The other day as I was approaching the local bus stop I noticed a woman at the stop. This woman lives in the neighbourhood and has a reputation for complaining. I know every moment is new and that it is possible Love has transformed her and she's now filled with love and optimism, but my heart told me to love her from a distance and walk to the next bus stop where I have more choice of buses. When one didn't appear I decided to continue walking. At the next stop, a bus appeared which had the woman inside. However, just behind that bus was another one which I got on. Note that Love didn't force me to be with someone I didn't want to be with; instead Love provided another way for me to travel.
My point is the highest good for everyone is always what brings you joy. While doing your duty might look good to the world, if you don't follow your heart, you're never going to be happy. If you're not happy how do you expect your wife and kids to be happy?
When you are being true to yourself, that love is radiated around you which inspires others to be true to who they are. This means accepting yourself, accepting your wife and kids for who they are being and not wanting to change them. If you still feel your heart is no longer in the relationship, then your wife will have to accept that what's good for you is also good for her and the children.
Now let's look at your concerns about providing for your family. Since all is Love, then those whom you call your wife and children are also Love's offspring. Just as you wish to provide and be there for your kids, Love is constantly providing for Her offspring, we simply need to trust in Her. Therefore, instead of worrying about how to provide for your kids, let Love take over that responsibility. Know that Love has many channels to provide for Her loved ones.
I'm reminded of a story I read in the Times yesterday about a stray cat who had been adopted by several residents. The cat even answered to different names. When he got sick the residents pulled together to pay for his vet fees. Now they are mourning the cat's death. I know children are not cats but my point is that instead of believing you and your wife are the only ones who can provide for your kids, why not open up to receive from the Universe at large, just like the cat was open to be loved by several residents. Then you and your loved ones are always provided for in every moment whether it's through family, friends or even strangers. Then you're no longer concerned about what the economy is doing because you trust that Love has infinite resources to meet your needs.
My advice to you, for what it's worth, is to love. Love who you are, be true to yourself, allow others to be true to themselves, and trust in the Infinite power of Love to meet everyone's needs perfectly.
Wishing you all the best, my friend. I know everything is working out for good.
Related articles: My Friend, Peggy; Only Good Can Come Out of This; More about Supply and Taking a Walk on the Wild; Comfort - Revisited; Activating Love - Revisited; The Secret of Eternal Youth - Revisited; Listen to Your Heart; The Power of Selfishness; The Truth about Whingeing; Surrender to Love - Revisited; Why the Inner Critic is Now My Greatest Ally; Are You a Gutless Wonder?; Trusting in Love - Part 2; Putting Love First; The Problem is There Aren't Any Problems; The Answer is Always One; What's Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander